So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
