He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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