He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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