I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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