a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
