hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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