If that was your dad, he is hot
grandma shit on top of the toilet
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
