I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize