dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
