dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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