Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
