He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
