You're so nebulous sometimes
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
