Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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