I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
