Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
