Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
