id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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