I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
