Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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