Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
