she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
