help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
