i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
