a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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