You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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