Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
