maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
