i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just want nice things and good sex
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
