I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just invented taco cereal.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
