yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
