So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
