If that was your dad, he is hot
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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