I want to stick my p in your. b.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
