Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
