It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
