I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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