this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
