you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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