i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
