He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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