This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
