She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
