Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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