Are we in a gay sports bar?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
