How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
