i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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