Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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