That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
