they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
