i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
