i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
