Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
