We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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