My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
