Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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