I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
