yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
