ya dads aren't the best wingmen
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
