bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
