ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
