I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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