I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
