i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
