Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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