If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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